Beverage: Nha Dam Thach Dua/Aloe Vera Nata de Coco Juice
Ingredients: Water, sugar, Nata de Coco, Aloe Vera, Artificial flavour
Appearance: Another in the spooky solids range of softdrinks. All a bit Jon Ronson goes to Lapland or unshaken snow scene in a jar, but, you know, it’s that pissy snow at the back of Santa’s grotto to the left of the Elk’s Head pub by the entrance to the beer cellar. Unlike many of the sixteen previous drinks I’ve suffered for this blog, the solids in this tin sink. Interesting. A first too, I think. The hot-chick-with-straw action artfully etched onto the outside of this can belies grim tidings from inside.
Aroma: Nutty, wholesome, dare I say? dare I dream? vegan. I’m getting mucho back odour. Odour of man sweat. Man sweat bled from an army of coconut tree climbers. Concentrating harder, I can trace the distinctive whiff of a Cuban cigar. It’s being smoked by a man in a white linen suit. He struts the coconut plantation with something of the Gregory Pecks about him, circa Boys from Brazil. The bastard’s got a whip, knuckle dusters and a big bloody dog. People are scared. I am too. Arrggghhhh…
Our survey said… Actually they didn’t. They left the buildling. Running. Last seen groping a Coca-Cola vending machine.