3. Cola
Beverage: Cola
Ingredients: Co2 not less than 2g/l, sugar not less than 100g/l, color (caramel), acidity regulators (338), natural flavor, caffiene.
Appearance: Flat coke, tar black. Softdrink fizz factor is low. After a few minutes it's flatter than a witches tit.
Aroma: I put my Jilly Goolden head on for this and I'm sensing Northamptonshire industrial estate warehouse packaging materials circa 1988, plastic tubing probably guttering from a tacky mock tudor housing estate in Rochdale. I'm also getting strong overtones of that pinky, antiseptic, dentist mouthwash you have to swirl and spit as stylishly as you can manage in front of a demure, yet clothes shreddingly ravishing, dental assistant as she holds out a spitoon for you to cough up plaque, enamel, soggy toast and orange pips.
Taste: It's not the real thing, no sir. However, the taste is better than the industrial smell emanating from it. At the same time it does leave something resembling cleaning fluid coating your tongue and mouth walls. Nasty, dangerous cleaning fluid that is.
If this drink were a man-made structure it would be... Valley Plaza in Bakersfield, California. It's just a hunch, I could be wrong on that.
Our survey said... 1.82 industrial solvent manufacturers out of 10 mistook this drink for their own product.
Cost: 3,000VD is roughly 1.165 Faroe Islands Krone, 1.165 Greenland Krone or 1.165 Danish Krone.
Now if only we could get an answer to the age-old question: what exactly is difference between ordinary Pepsi and the so-called Pepsi Fire?
It sure isn\'t the taste. Is the Fire variant supposed to induce more of a buzz..!?
Posted by: Philip | June 27, 2005 at 10:57 AM
As a marketing manager might say, "Why am I out of the loop on this?" Dunno what Pepsi Fire is. You've tried it then? is there more caffiene?
Posted by: pieman | June 27, 2005 at 11:10 AM
Pieman, for the sake of these hilariously funny reviews, I hope your health survives the softdrink series!
Posted by: Petit | June 28, 2005 at 12:41 AM
No worries. If I like them I finish them. If I don't it's two sips and binned :)
Posted by: pieman | June 28, 2005 at 03:50 AM
you can't compare my holy water to the breasts of a with, I warn thee.
I grew up on Tribeco (the Coca cola's Polar bear didn't arrive till the mid 90's)
Posted by: Ha | July 07, 2005 at 08:15 AM