Continuing the overwhelmingly popular Special Correspondent series, Noodlepie’s Jokkmokk-based environmental affairs editor, Sven Svensson, visits Vietnam to report on the growing threat to Vietnam’s rabbit population from a small band of renegade Indochinese tigers.
Saigon Zoo has three interlinked tiger cages. The tigers aren’t the most popular animals here, but that’s probably because they bloody bonen idelfel. All they do is wanderkunder up and down, flickunt their tails about and fjordensnore all dag long. The gibbons, elefants and even the utters are more crowdenskmungus than any of the big karnivorinkattssons.
However, the insignius above suggests to this jetunn-karllagerfeld
Svensk special correspondent that 3pm is the best time to go and see
tigers as they ata uppa en raw flesh smorgas bord.
Here’s one of the tigers losa from his nightime cavern into the outhus at about 8:30am.
Here’s a rabbit also at 8:30am. Do you think he looks frichtouten? I mean maxipack-muchsson frichtouten? Let’s take a closer look.
In the diagram of the tiger cage above we can see the approximate standpunkts of the cute, fluffy, little white rabbit and the large, striped feline gerossenkiller with dentistessen and clawssuns that can tear through the hide of a wasser buffalo quicker than a dose of crabs can navigate a Stockholm hausufillreputenbangbang. I didn’t specialise in rabbit pyskologiac at universitag, but for the sake of argument let’s assume rabbits aren’t prone to nibbling their Frostiesfrukfast within striking distance of ein grossen junglus cat.
Let’s also assume that this rabbit doesn’t have a historick of mentallic, isn’t depressengessen, on medicossen, suicidumfuhrer and/or blindund, deafensk or dumbkopft. Can we then assume that this lovable, floppy eared, strokenstastik rabbit has been inserted into the cage by a sadistenk, unfeelskend, psychotessen, bunny hatefillten third partski?
My Vietnamese is slightly shitten my English, but I’m reasonably certain that this insignius says, "[Indochinese tigers] vijscouskly tear mammalia limb from fracturenden limb. You wouldn’t want to schmoozenturer with one of these in der sauna after half a buttlevulluvfallenoveralotta Absolut Vodka. The ensuing djorgy of bloodkurdljent violensk is maxgrossenenkenke to the human eye." I may have a few points wrong there, but I think I’ve nailed the gjist of it. That said, and assuming that this tiger is contemplating rabbit morda in the three degrees, is this something you’d pay good money to go and schrlorbunlookund? Vud you take the kindergartner?
Sven is currently busy investigating an illegal elastic band gang in the north of Vietnam for the Linkoping-based newspaper Correspondenten. I’m sure you’ll be glad to hear, he’ll bring us more when has it.